pull the blackout curtains down
by high improbability
Summary: "There are parts of Jaime he'll never know and Cassie will, and she has no fucking idea. Jaime will share thoughts with her forever and nothing will come of it ever because she's never going to love him, or something. Bart's totally not jealous." The Young Justice crew during and after the Kaiju War. (Pacific Rim fusion)
1. pull the blackout curtains down

_I am the sand, bottom half of the hourglass._  
 _I'll try to picture me without you but I can't_

* * *

Bart is fifteen when he gets the letter from the Academy.

 _Fifteen_. That's – that's even younger than Wally, and he makes a point of shoving it in his uncle-once-removed's face the next West-Allen family dinner. Wally doesn't even blink, just laughs and slaps him on the back, tells him "Expect an _excellent_ freshman prank, 'cuz!" and Grandpa Barry congratulates him and says that honestly? He's a bit embarrassed that both Wally and Bart went into the military after him – "Don't mention it, Gramps!" Bart says in a mouthful of fried chicken. "We'll make ya proud." He smiles at Bart then and ruffles his hair, and it's kinda nice.

But what's _really_ nice is comparing letters with Jaime the next day, seeing his friend's face light up when he sees the opened seal on Bart's, his shy face when bringing out his own. "This is it, _ese_ ," Jaime says, his eyes wide and bright. "We're gonna change the world."

* * *

As a treat, Wally takes the two of them up to the Shatterdome, shows them Flash Wing, the one he pilots with his best friend. It's beautiful – all the height and rustic dignity Bart expects of a Mark III. Wally talks them through everything, introduces them to a couple of J-Tech officers who work on it, and they sit in the hangars and eat packed lunches and watch the people work.

"You excited, kid?" Wally turns to Jaime, and for a minute everything freezes – Bart's breath catches in his throat and he eyes Jaime's face, searches for fear or hesitation or worse, _blame_ that Bart had dragged him into this, away from high school, from girls, from Tye – but Jaime just grins, brings his fist up to bump Wally's. "Excited to kick some ass!"

"That's the spirit," Wally laughs. That's just how it is for a while.

* * *

The girl who rooms across from them had stuck up her nose at them during freshman introductions, but knocked on their door later that night, looking completely apologetic and explaining that her roommate – Barbara – was three years above them and always out. She's bratty and annoying and supermodel gorgeous. ("Like, seriously, she looked like she stepped out of a Guess billboard!")

That's what Bart says, anyway. Jaime thinks she's nice, and invites Cassandra Sandsmark over to their Thursday movie night – _You think everyone is nice, Jaime!_ _It's our Thursday movie night_, Bart's internal voice repeats, just a tad resentfully. But Jaime rebukes him gently, reminds him about _making friends_ and moves over to give Cassie space on his bunk bed, and Bart supposes that's how it starts, and one way or another.

He learns that she's haughty to be sure and can pack a mean punch, but can bake amazing snickerdoodles and has little sense for personal space. Her mom's an archaeologist, her father walked out on them before she was born, and she hasn't had a boyfriend because the boys around her were be scared that she could benchpress them. In turn, she learns that Bart's grandfather is _General Allen_ and that his uncle's a Jaeger pilot (" _The_ Wally West? No way!") and that he was bullied in school for his ADHD. She learns that Jaime has a little sister he loves more than anything in the world and the scarab is his favorite animal (" _What_?") and that before the Academy he'd wanted to work in linguistics. She can keep up with Bart when they're called for morning laps and never fails to crow about it, but she's still someone to sit with at lunch and read comics with.

"Really, Bart, she's not that bad!" Jaime says, the flush overpowering his dusky complexion. "Remember when we first met and you stole all the chips from my locker?"

And, Bart learns – Cassie's one of the sweetest, most compassionate people he's ever met. She has bravado and idealism in spades, but they can only take you so far when you're sacrificing your childhood for the sake of humanity. Bart sees it when two weeks in that they tell him he'll never pilot a Jaeger. Fightmaster Lance excuses him from one of their classes just as he was about to see how many paper airplanes he could throw at Garfield Logan before he noticed, and tells him right outside the hallway, her normally stern face looking sorry, that his ADHD is bad enough that it's a threat to the neural handshake. Bart shrugs her off with a grin, although he hates the fact that his stomach knots at the prospect of not piloting with Jaime – or worse, Jaime piloting with someone else.

He figures Cassie must have super hearing, at the least, because when he walks back in the classroom with his biggest smile plastered on his face, she and Jaime are the only ones who shoot him a concerned glance. He leaves before they can corner him after the class, and slinks back to the dormitory.

It's not too long before he hears her, three knocks _bangbangbang_ right on the metal, shouting that she could probably bust it down anyway Academy tech be damned if she didn't let him in. He does, and she's standing there looking like she'd just run straight from class up to their room, the saddest look in her eyes.

"I heard what Fightmaster Lance said," her voice hushed and breathless, and he processes that yes, she does have super hearing or something to that effect. "Look, I know that–"

"It's none of your business, _Cassie_ ," he says, and moves to shut the door.

Looking for all the world like a kicked golden retriever puppy, she catches the door and snaps, "Bart, I'm your friend, okay, so can you just–" She catches herself, takes a deep breath. "Sorry. Hey, I really am. Can I try again?"

Bart looks at her, nods slowly. She smiles briefly. "Look, I can tell that you wanted to pilot with Jaime one day and I'm pretty sure he's expecting the same, and he _doesn't_ know what Fightmaster Lance told you, so I hope you tell him because it's really too bad and I'm worried about you and–"

He raises a finger to her lips and smiles until she does, because she has a really nice smile. "Hey. Cass. I-I was going to, but. Thanks. For coming up here. I didn't expect you to."

She looks surprised. "Why wouldn't I? You're my friend, Bartholomew." And suddenly she's grinning and her arms and around him and her hand is ruffling his hair and Bart squirms because him breaking other people's boundaries is fine but he cannot deal with uninvited physical contact? But he laughs despite himself.

Jaime chooses that moment to round the corridor. "Oi, _there_ you two are! I was wondering where you guys went!"

Cassie releases him and whirls around. "Bart has something to tell you."

Jaime raises his eyebrows and glances at Bart. "What?"

Bart drums his fingers on the mattress. "Uh, you know when we talked about joining the Academy, and you said you'd pilot with Tye if you made it through, but he didn't want to go into the PPDC, so we said we'd pilot together instead?"

Jaime nods, uncomprehending.

"Uh – today, uh – I…"

Cassie's eyebrows knit together. " _Bart_!"

Bart scrunches up his nose. "Fightmaster Lance told me that because I have ADHD I can never ever pilot a Jaeger and I'm sorry I know I dragged you into this PPDC stuff and now–"

"Oi." Jaime looks almost offended. "First of all, _ese_ , I'm not baggage you dragged with you here, I wanted to join the Academy as much as you did." But – he dips into one of those fond half-smiles Bart's grown to love – "I thought we'd pilot together, too. But it's not a big deal if we don't. We're still going to be friends, still gonna be PPDC members and nail those fucking reptiles together, aight?"

"Then," he looks Jaime right in the eyes now, "If I can't pilot with you, you bet your damnedest I'll be right there for you, all right? I'll be–"

"On the floor," Cassie helpfully supplies.

"On the floor. Yes." The words are coming faster now, and Bart's heart is thudding faster with each one. "J-Tech, K-Science, wherever the hell they'll take me. Just don't ever think that even if we're not Drifting–"

Jaime cuts him off. "I know, Bart. Thanks." And he just looks at him with the warmest puppy-dog eyes _ever_ and Bart kind of melts inside and – he couldn't keep his eyes off Jaime's if he tried (not like he tried at all). Part of him just wants to snog him senseless right then and there – but the other, more rational, less ADHD part of him reminds him that Cassie is _right there_ and _this could ruin everything_. So he settles for a hug, and a "You're the best, Reyes."

"I know, _hermano_. I get that a lot."

Cassie laughs softly then, a strained sound, and mutters something about checking on her roommate, before Jaime, laughing, pulls her into the hug, too. Bart knows Jaime's seen this side of her as soon as they'd met.

* * *

Life goes on like this for a while. Bart, as it turns out, is hella great with machines, because his hands always have to be busy in some way. Tye visits Jaime once, introduces his softspoken Japanese girlfriend. Cassie is bright and eager to learn, and she quickly excels at the martial arts. Marshall Prince takes a liking to her, and is often observing Cassie on the mat, scribbling away on a clipboard. She even observes one of Cassie's exams, and Jaime and Bart are a couple of seats behind her.

"She's good," she tells Marshall Wayne, who's sitting next to her.

"Impulsive," says Wayne, watching her dodge another one of Fightmaster Lance's punches. "She's naïve, though – and Dinah says she could use work in predicting her opponent's moves. But she's strong. A lot like you when we started, actually."

Ranger Prince throws her head back and laughs, and continues their conversation in hushed tones. Bart just blinks and marvels at the easy camaraderie the Drift had given them.

"Dude, she'll be so stoked to hear that," Jaime stage-whispers. Bart makes an exaggerated shush-up gesture. "It's true, though," he adds, turning his head back to the mat, where Cassie is practically doing a backflip. She's biting her lip, but her movements are lithe and graceful. "She'll make a good Ranger."

Bart sours at the smile Jaime has on his face. "Geez, Jaime. It's almost like you dig her or something." It's half teasing, half accusing, and all hurt.

Jaime flushes in that you-caught-me-taking-the-last-cookie look he has – the one which includes lip biting and avoiding eye contact and his hand making its way to the back of his neck (not like Bart, you know, _memorizes Jaime's looks or anything_ , it's just something to keep him occupied while listening to Jaime talk) – and smiles, and Bart knows then and there he's a goner and he feels the urge to either defenestrate himself or cut his heart out of his chest because _Jaime and Cassie_. "Oh my _god_."

 _It's not like they even have that much in_ common _,_ Inner Bart snarks unhelpfully. _Okay, so they're both total losers and like reading comics, and she's super pretty and nice, but_ still _, it's only been like a year? How long has Jaime known_ you?

"It's–" Jaime's blushing lightly. "It's a crush. She's great, like, really great. You know that. And I know she likes Conner Kent anyway, she's always looking when he's on deck–"

"And you have absolutely no intention of letting her know. Right?" The words slip out of Bart's mouth before he can stop them and he instantly feels like _shit_ , but it's too late. "Don't worry, I won't tell."

Jaime, to his credit, nods ponderously. "Cassie's like, my third best friend after Tye and you," he says, "I don't really want to ruin that."

Bart, to his credit, keeps his mouth shut, because Jaime is absolutely his first best friend and he'd give anything to ruin it if it meant being more.

Later, Cassie comes up to Bart, the fluorescent lights making her skin gleam, and if Bart swung that way at all this would be infinitely more awkward, and tells him – "Dude, Diana Prince and Bruce Wayne were _right there_! Did they say anything about me?"

"Not really," says Bart, because he's a terrible person.

* * *

On the day of their graduation from the PPDC Academy Bart stands with his fellow J-Tech graduates and watches as Sandsmark, Cassandra takes her place next to Reyes, Jaime. She smiles at him and they interlace their fingers. Inner Bart frowns a bit.

And that's when the Kaiju alert comes. _Knifehead_ , _category 3_ , says the voice over the PA, at the same time it calls for evacuation. Marshall Kent's booming voice takes over, ordering the pilots of Flash Wing to suit up. In the ensuing chaos Jaime and Cassie find him, still holding hands; Cassie's previously immaculate hair is a mess and Jaime's lost his cap. "That – that's Wally's Jaeger," Bart tells them, breathless, looking over at the audience. Grandpa Barry, Grandma Iris, and Bart's parents are hurrying towards them.

They're hustled into the Academy evacuation center, watching the Jaeger feed with bated breath on the two televisions the Academy keeps there. Aunt Dawn's hands cover her face when Flash reaches for the fishing boat, only releasing her breath when it's within safe distance. The battle is swift as it always is with Flash - their neural handshake has always been lauded as one of the most stable thanks to their strong friendship, and they have the kill count to prove it. Bart releases a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"Damn it, Wally, going off to ruin my graduation like that," he says, because it's easier. The mood relaxes a little.

"Told you." Jaime's voice is light in Bart's ear. He feels giddy. "They could take it." Beside him, Cassie squeezes his hand.

And then –

For the first time in Bart's life, things move in slow motion.

( _"That thing's not dead yet!"_ Marshall Wayne yells. Someone slams their hand onto the control board.)

The air is still. Cassie says something about Wayne being worried about his ward, but her words die down. The Kaiju looms.

The air is still. Bart's stomach churns, and for a second all he can think about is _Wally_ – his stupid red hair, his stupid laugh, the way he'd told Bart all about becoming a Ranger, packed lunches in the Metropolis Shatterdome –

Dick Grayson screams, and it echoes throughout the room. Grandma Iris lets out a strangled sob.

The air is still.

* * *

Wally's funeral is the worst thing ever.

They tell Dick Grayson he's a hero for killing a kaiju while piloting solo, although Bart can tell by the defeated way he carries himself that he doesn't consider himself one. (Cassie tells him and Jaime that her roommate had told her Grayson almost hadn't showed, but Barbara had convinced him that he owed Wally that much, at least). He spews platitudes about Wally's strength of character, inserts random stories about their friendship, and jokes about his eating habits. He apologizes to the fresh grads for ruining their graduation and then congratulates them. Nobody comments on how ominous it is.

All in all, it's a pretty terrible speech – but everyone applauds him just the same.

( _Babs said that Wally had the sense to terminate the Drift_ , Cassie adds, _so Grayson didn't have to feel Wally die in his head._ _We all have to count our blessings, I guess_.)

The rest of it is kind of a blur – Wally's girlfriend speaks next, her black dress stark against her blonde hair, but Bart can't bring himself to focus, tapping his fingers and jiggling his legs all over the place. He thinks about his first memory of Wally, at the time still a middle school student with freckles and braces – then Wally signing up for the PPDC when the Kaiju hit Keystone City, getting his state-of-the-art Jaeger. Wally giving him girl advice and taking him shopping and pranking his parents with him. Wally's larger-than-life smile.

By the time they have to bid goodbye to an empty coffin, Wally's bright smile lost to the sea, Bart isn't the only one in tears. He hates crying in public more than anything, but figures he, too, owes Wally this much.

* * *

Life goes on, and that's perhaps the most surprising thing. The death of a Ranger is nothing new for the PPDC, and while Grayson's face adorns newspapers headlining his partner's death for two solid days, in the end they partner him up with Barbara. Cassie pouts about it as politely as she can. "When Jason Todd quit I thought I could partner with Babs like him," she says to Bart and Jaime, almost shyly. "She's been there for me my entire Academy life, kinda like a big sister. But–" she bites her lip, "She and Grayson go way back, and I guess he needs that familiarity more than I do." She brightens. "She said I could be her backup, though!"

Bart befriends the psych analyst in charge of matching them up – she's pretty, had been Wally's friend, and has hair a couple shades darker, and she's Gar's cousin anyway. Megan Morse lets him watch the matches, and he sneaks peaks at her clipboard to see the potential matches. True to form, Cassie and Barbara are drift-compatible, and both have big smiles on their faces as Barbara helps Cassie to her feet. "We can't spare Barbara, though," says Megan to Bart, and he knows she's talking about Dick. "Backup it is."

He watches Jaime's matches, too, partly because he hates himself and partly because Jaime's his best friend and Bart _cares_ okay. He can see Megan's face out of the corner of his eye, impressed, because Jaime's matches always end well. "He's just so _nice_ ," Megan tells Conner Kent, "People instinctively want to work with him."

"He could be _everyone_ 's backup," says Conner. "He even did well with Tim and Logan, and _those_ two need chill pills. We need more freshmen who do the homework."

Bart doesn't think that's so bad, if Jaime's supposed to be in someone else's head all the time at least it's because he's just _that_ nice and not, you know. But that's before Conner whispers something in Megan's ear, and she decides to test Jaime with Cassie.

It goes well. Way too well. Jaime fought well enough before, but he matches Cassie blow for blow like he actually _wants_ to, like fighting with her makes him want to _be_ better. There's a glint in Cassie's eye that wasn't there before, and she swings with more gusto and laughs as she dodges. Bart doesn't even have to _look_ at Megan's face and see the look of delight (he totally does anyway) to know that it does.

"Three-three," calls Megan once Cassie has one foot pinning Jaime's arms to the mat, her arms pointing her bo staff at his face.

Cassie grins. "Suck it, Reyes." She lets go and collapses next to him, breathing heavily. "Nice try, though."

He doesn't get up. "But you _cheated,_ Cass, that one fault–" Bart knows he's joking, though. Jaime would never be mean to Cassie ever.

"Looks like we have a match," Megan says, going over to the mat. Jaime and Cassie are still lying on the mat, out of breath and grinning at each other like crazy, and it's the most disgusting and wonderful thing Bart has ever seen in his life.

Conner Kent starts _clapping_. Jerk.

* * *

Look, he's totally not jealous.

Bart knows that Drift compatibility doesn't necessitate gross mushy feelings, despite what people say about Kent, Wayne, and Prince, but _still_. There are _siblings_ who Drift.

There are parts of Jaime he'll never know and Cassie will, and she has _no fucking idea_. Jaime will share thoughts with her forever and nothing will come of it _ever_ because she's never going to love him, or something.

He's totally not jealous.

What would Wally do?

Wally would tell him to suck it up and keep pulling stupid moves until Jaime swooned into his arms. " _Worked for me_ ," he'd say, laughing. Artemis would punch him in the arm, but she'd be smiling.

But Wally's dead, and Cassie and Jaime watch romcoms without him, and everything sucks.

* * *

Everything doesn't suck, actually.

He's working on what's going to be the Reyes-Sandsmark Jaeger (name undecided as of the moment, because Bart cannot get over how gross Reyes-Sandsmark sounds). Well, he and around a thousand other people, but the design was _his_ , okay. Captain Adams had approved it himself, praising him for incorporating Jaime's flexibility as a fighter and Cassie's raw strength in the "extremely streamlined design" or _something_. Brigadier Stewart loves the idea of a rotating, changeable arm weapon, and says he'll put a team on the plasma cannon immediately. Bart flashes them a thumbs-up because he totally didn't mean for this to happen _holy shit_.

But all of that melts away when Jaime and Cassie see the blueprints. Identical looks of astonishment on their faces, they look at him, then at the blueprints, then at each other, then back at him. It's almost adorable.

" _Ese_ , this is _incredible_ ," Jaime breathes. "You even made it scarab-themed," he adds, sending Bart a thoughtful glance. Bart hopes his face isn't as red as his hair.

Cassie hums in assent, then spots Barbara walking past the doorway. "Babs!" she calls, waving.

Barbara smiles – it is totally unfair that she gets to be a _hot ginger_ and Bart just gets to be _kind of ginger_ and she is so pretty - and comes over to them. "Hey, kids, heard you get matched up," she says, high-fiving Cassie and patting Jaime on the back. "Called it one week in."

"No _way_ ," Cassie says, half-defiant. Jaime's biting his lip. _Why_ must he be so obvious? Is Cassie _really_ not catching on to this? "One week in, he and Bart were still–" She trails off, sending an apologetic look his way. "Sorry, Bart," she says, sounding like she means it.

It's hard to hate Cassie when she's just so frickin' _sincere_ all the time.

At the mention of his name Dick looks up, like he'd just noticed Bart was there, and he just _freezes_.

There's an awkward pause. Bart is suddenly very aware that he's two shades of red hair and three inches of height away from being a holographic memorial.

He's not the only one. Instantly Barbara's at Dick's side and dragging him off. "We were going to check up with the Marshalls on something," she says, by way of explanation. "C'mon, Richard."

Dick relaxes visibly. "Sorry guys," he says, flashing them a charming grin. "See you two on the field."

"Looking forward to it, sir!" Cassie says extremely brightly. When they're out of earshot, she slumps in her seat. "Ugh, he is _so_ handsome."

"And so taken," Bart says. "C'mon, did you see that? They are _so_ doing it."

Jaime kicks him under the table.

* * *

Bart snaps a picture of the first time Jaime and Cassie step foot in their new Jaeger – Scarab Amazon, Mark V and top of the line. Their eyes are bright and their hands move closer together. Cassie hugs him fiercely and Jaime looks like he's about to cry. Their smiles are larger than life, and they seem like their presence could fill the room.

"Take it for a test drive?" Bart says, weakly.

They've grown more similar in the last few months. He would never have called it back in freshman year, when they were _nothing_ alike, when Jaime was the gentle, snarky cushion to Cassie's hard blows and loud laughter, but Jaime has adopted Cassie's bluntness and she's gentler when dealing with people now.

Their first Drift goes well. Nothing spectacular, but no RABITS are chased and nothing explodes.

Or not.

"She was always the RABIT, Bart," Jaime says by way of explanation later.

"Please don't tell me you still like her," says Bart.

Jaime bites his lip and pointedly looks away.

Bart groans. He isn't even remotely surprised; Jaime has improved vastly in combat and tactics but not in subtlety. " _Reyes_. Crash."

"It's not something I can _control_ , okay–"

"No, Jaime – you can't go around Drifting with somebody you secretly wanna _bone_. That's going to cause all sorts of complications down the line. Wait, _do_ you want to bo –"

" _Oi_." Jaime flushes a deep red and smacks Bart upside the head. That answers that. Not like Bart really cares.

"How are you even going to _hide_ it from Cass in the Drift, Jaime, it's not like–"

"Hide _what_ from me in the Drift?" Cassie, her blonde hair like a beacon.

Bart and Jaime freeze. Jaime turns around four different shades of red.

"Jaime's favorite porn videos," Bart says cheekily. "He's got the links _memorized_."

" _Allen_!"

Cassie scrunches up her nose. "Well, can't say I'm surprised," she huffs. "Anyway, I'm meeting up with Barbara and the girls for dinner. Catch you later?" She sends Jaime a small smile.

He gives her a thumbs up, his face still frozen.

Cassie adds _boys_ under her breath, as if she isn't twenty and fresh out of the Academy. "In any case, Jaime's probably going to end up finding _my_ favorite porn videos in the Drift, so I guess we can call it even."

Jaime's jaw falls open. It's embarrassing, honestly.

* * *

The thing is Bart wouldn't be so upset about it if he thought Jaime would be happy.

He loves Cassie. He really does. There's never really been any logical reason not to.

And, well, he'd already covered how Jaime loved Cassie.

The thing is, well –

"You should tell her," Bart blurts out in the middle of a combo. Jaime's head snaps up gets hit with a red shell. He pauses the game. "Dammit, Bart! Tell her _what_?"

Bart groans. "That you absolutely want to have her beautiful mixed-race children?"

Jaime chokes and drops the controller. " _Bart_. No. We're Drifting. It'll make things awkward. Threaten the neural handshake. That stuff."

" _Or_ , it could make your handshake even _stronger_. You want it, you take it, bro. How do you even know that she doesn't–"

Jaime looks sad. "Nah. She doesn't."

Bart doesn't press further. This is Cassie's mind and only Jaime knows what's in it, but he can wager a guess.

 _That's_ why.

Jaime doesn't say anything, just continues playing the game with his mouth pursed.

Bart puts on his biggest megawatt smile. "If you say so, bro. Wanna do Rainbow Road next?"

* * *

Their first mission is a disaster.

* * *

Megan tasks Bart with delivering muffins to Barbara's room in the med bay. He's munching on one while rounding the hallway before he hears the voices.

"Listen, Cass–" Barbara's voice, weak but motherly.

"No, Babs – I don't know if I can do this, pilot, I mean, it's – not after –" Cassie, frantic, breathing heavily. Bart stills to a stop outside the room.

"Hey. Shh." There's a pause. "Don't worry about what happened to me, okay? It's an occupational hazard. We killed the thing, we all got out of it alive, and that's what's important. We're more use to the PPDC alive than dead."

"But you're never going to _walk_ again, Barbara!" Cassie's voice is strained. "And all because I was so _stupid_ –"

" _Cassandra_." Barbara sounds like she's on the verge of tears. "I don't regret it. I'm glad you're okay." A pause. Bart can tell she's struggling to control her breathing. Then, quieter, "Have you talked to Jaime?"

"No. I feel like a shit partner."

"Talk to him soon," says Barbara. "You can't Drift when you're doubting yourself like this. I don't think he feels differently."

Bart flees before he overhears more.

* * *

Jaime and Cassie talk long into the night. Cassie cries at least twice and Jaime apologizes around seven times and makes an awful joke about Dick Grayson losing his partner _again_ and Bart turns up the music really loud and burrows his face into the pillow and tries not to look at them. Wally would have made kissy noises.

* * *

As soon as she's discharged Barbara takes over communications with a vengeance. "The lower half of my body might be useless, but my brain's still intact," she tells the Marshals, Grayson standing behind her supportively. "Thankfully, you'll find that that half's a lot more useful."

Bart sees how Grayson's hand briefly touches over his legs, as if he's scared he'll lose feeling in them too, and thinks about the ghost Drift.

* * *

Their next two missions go better – but funding is cut off anyway. The Marshals pace in the command center for three hours afterwards.

* * *

Marshal Kent explains Operation Pitfall. Tigress is a walking nuclear reactor, and will be armed with enough ammo to blow the Breach when it self-destructs. Scarab and Atlantis are to protect it at all costs.

It seems simple enough.

Everyone bolts as soon as the Marshals dismiss them, including Cassie, whispering something in Jaime's ear and running off to the rooms. Jaime turns to follow her, before stalling and turning to Bart. "You okay, _ese_?"

Bart wakes up from his stupor. "Oh, nothing, just – spaced out." There's a pause. "He said _at all costs_."

"Hey. I knew what I was getting into." Jaime's smiling, beautiful and sincere. "Now, I – I gotta go call my parents."

"Jaime," Bart blurts out before he can stop himself, because _what if he doesn't make it back_? "In case you don't–"

"Hmm?" He raises his eyebrows. Bart inhales, and then –

\- doesn't say anything. No use risking the handshake. He'll save it for the reunion. "Take care of Cass out there, all right?"

Jaime's smiling again, warm and sincere. "You know me," he says. At Bart's face, he adds, softer – "Hey. It's been great. It'll always be great."

Bart hugs him. Jaime's arms fall like lead, unresponsive, before hugging him back fiercely. Bart feels like his whole body is on fire. "Be careful, okay? We gotta talk when we get back."

 _Come back._

"Sure." Jaime breaks the hug. "I really gotta call my parents," he murmurs. "See ya, Bart."

"You gonna be okay?" says Tim, standing behind him on the ledge. He's fixing his headset and not looking at Bart.

"Yeah," says Bart, looking up. "Hope they'll be."

* * *

It goes awry _fast_.

"Three Kaiju," Barbara says, awed. "They were _right_."

Kaldur and Logan manage to kill Scunner, but at the cost of their Jaeger cooking it alive – and they're ejected in time. "You guys all right?" Barbara says, softly.

"A-ok, Babs," says Logan, his voice rough. "Don't suppose you have any backup Jaegers up there?"

But that's _before_ Garfield barges into the room, Karen hot on his heels.

"The plan's not going to work!" Garfield yells into the comm pod. "Karen, Mal and I figured it out. The Breach is only going to let you in if it thinks you're a Kaiju – anything else and the bomb will bounce back up like it _always_ has!"

There's a pause.

"You heard the boy," says Roy, his voice scratchy. "Two left. Let's get this mother." The next minutes are a haze, Bart drifting in and out of coherence while Barbara feeds him updates. "Fucking _shit_!" Artemis swears. "Take this, you fucking asshole!" There's a swing of Tigress's thin, bladed arms and a satisfying rip. "Scarab!" she yells. "Take this little bitch! We'll take care of the other one!"

Cassie's voice, high-pitched and uncertain. "Wait, but aren't you supposed to –"

Marshal Prince cuts in. "They have the bomb, but Scarab's a Mark V. Top of the line. You need it to blow up, it _will_." Then, "You can do this, Cassie."

Jaime. "You ready?"

"Got the reptile, Scarab?" says Marshal Wayne.

Scunner leaps. Bart knows what happens next.

Roy and Artemis scream in tandem.

"You think you can – take us down that – easy?" Roy pants. Bart glances at the screen – Tigress is operational at 18%. Automatic self-destruct should still be working. "Scarab, how are you over there?"

" _Dragging_!" They were beat up pretty bad by

"Fucking _hell_."

"Babs." Artemis's voice, heaving. "We think we can take Slattern out. We have a million tons of TNT, should buy them enough time to–"

"Artemis, Roy, do it if you must, but get out there _now_." Marshal Kent's tone is serious.

"Yes, sir," they say at the same time. Slattern is breathing down their Jaeger's neck. The escape pods launch.

Then the biggest explosion Bart has heard in his life.

The water flows back, and they see it – "What the fuck what do you mean it's still alive?" Marshal Prince cries out in frustration. "Scarab, do you copy?"

"Copy that," says Cassie. They're near the Breach, if they just held on and toppled over – "Looks pretty tired, though – think we can take it." Jostling, then a scream.

"Cassie!" Barbara yells into the comm.

It's Jaime who answers. "Melted its face off – with the plasma cannon. Cass is down!" Jaime's voice is harsh, and his breath is coming hard and fast. "Don't worry, I'll get her out. I can finish this myself."

"Jaime!" Barbara's knuckles are white against the board. "You can't, there's not enough time–"

"There _is_!" It's the angriest Bart has ever heard him. There's rustling. "Here, Cass–" Jaime's breath is coming hard and fast now. The computer tells them an escape pod's being prepared.

"Jaime!" Bart yells. His voice is raw. "What the fuck are you doing?"

Jaime ignores him. "Here." His voice is unbelievably gentle, Bart wants to cry. "All she has to do is fall. Anyone can fall."

For the first time in Bart's life, things move in slow motion.

Jaime's flipping switches. The pod leaves – _take care of her, okay_? – Bart's screaming incoherently and Marshal Prince has to restrain him from the communications board, _Jaime fucking Reyes don't you fucking dare_ , Jaime's gentle voice _it was an honor serving, Fuck you Reyes, what good is honor if you're_ dead! Barbara looking away, putting a hand over Bart's. _Sorry we never got to have that talk, Bart_. Shaking on the floor, hearing the countdown, saying it ever so softly into the comm – _te amo, Jaime, te amo_ –

He likes to think Jaime smiled, then. Did Wally smile?

There's a blast. It's heard around the world, shakes the foundations of everything, and echoes in Bart's ears for a very long time afterwards.

It's over.

Cassie's pod pops up in the ocean. Dick is quick to jump in after her. Bart hears the CPR on the comm – _28, 29, 30, come_ on – and exhales when he hears Cassie gasp. "Boss!" he hears her say, and imagines her looking around, wide-eyed. "Wh-what happened?"

He hears Dick explain it in cool, compartmentalized, technical tones – _You rode a Kaiju into the breach, he sent your escape pod up before detonation. Tigress and Atlantis were with you. We know their pilots are alive. That's all we know for now_. He hears Cassie's sharp intake of breath, hears her forlorn "What? But the escape pod – did he – is there – what about Jaime?"

Dick says nothing. Cassie begins to cry.

"Stop the clock," says Marshal Kent. He hears cheering.

Bart bangs a hand against the wall.

* * *

Cassie grows her hair out after Operation Pitfall. It never becomes as long or thick or shiny as it was during their Academy days, but it hides the hollows in her cheeks and softens her smile, and for now, that's enough.

She marries Fightmaster Kent six months later. He remembers Cassie joking about a big fairytale wedding back when they could afford to do so – Vera Wang gowns, six-layer cakes, a honeymoon in Fiji, the works – but the ceremony itself very low-key. Sure, it makes headlines, and sure, Conner and Cassie are pretty much the most aesthetically compatible couple ever, but the attendance is shockingly low – just the regular Shatterdome crew plus family and friends who were able to reestablish contact after the Kaiju attacks. She still gets her Vera Wang dress, but her smile is tighter and her face is always slightly wan, as if she's scared everything around her will disappear at any moment. He doesn't know if she'll ever be the same again.

She asks Bart to give a speech at the reception. He does – talks about living across her, about sparring matches on Wednesdays and morning jogs, about building the Jaeger that helped her save the world.

He doesn't mention Jaime.

He can't bring himself to look at her when he sits down, can't see her without Jaime, without death, without sacrifice. It's a terrible speech, but people clap for him anyway.

* * *

"I still feel him in my head sometimes," she says, her voice very small on the phone.

He doesn't know what to tell her. _Ghost drift_.

* * *

Life goes on.

Cassie and Conner move into this annoyingly picturesque apartment overlooking the Bay. They rarely see each other in the months that follow – a reunion here, a chance run-in at the supermarket there. They're invited to Tye's wedding to Sam, something that neither of them expect; they didn't know him all that well – but they both go anyway. Megan and Garfield move back to conservation biology in Africa. Kaldur starts teaching. Karen and Mal get engaged. Bart gets Christmas cards from Artemis, her sister, and Roy (who lost an arm during Pitfall, but gained a daughter in the aftermath). Dick and Barbara go off the grid, resurfacing every once in a while to tell everyone that yes, they're okay.

Yes, they're happy.

Bart's life slows down, yes – but he gets a job in an engineering firm, goes on a few dates here and there. He moves into an apartment on a hill and looks down, squints his eyes away from the glare of the water on the bay. The world is rebuilding fast. He sees kids playing with Kaiju action figures and going as Jaeger pilots for Halloween, and the thought is sick to his stomach but makes him smile, too. He wonders how the history books will go.

His taste in furniture doesn't change much. He keeps most of his old stuff, but hangs a picture of Jaime next to Wally on the mantelpiece. _So sentimental, ese_ , he imagines Jaime saying, standing in the middle of his living room with his arms crossed. _Couldn't you at least have picked a better picture?_

 _Well, what can I say_? He imagines telling Jaime. _I'm a sentimental guy_.

Imaginary-Jaime laughs, and it's blinding. _Yeah, right._

* * *

It's two years into their marriage when it happens. She doesn't even tell him. He has to find out about it from _Garfield_ , of all people – but all of a sudden there are people yelling, and ambulance sirens, and tests and reporters crowding and _blood_ and the stead beep of heart monitors.

 _Radiation poisoning_ , the tabloids say. _Lots of the shielding just melted right off_.

* * *

Bart hates hospitals. They smell sterile and cold and not like _people_.

Conner is sitting outside the room, his mouth in a firm line. He stands abruptly when he sees Bart, then sits back down. "She was asking for you," is all he says. "What the hell took you so long?"

Bart doesn't bother – Conner has seen so much, and might just soon lose his wife. He just walks right in and stops dead in his tracks. Cassie looks so sad and small in the bed, so different from the proud girl he'd met on the first day, and her lifeline is wearing thin. Her eyes are tired, but they brighten when they see him. "Bart! I haven't seen you in _months_!"

"Hey." He awkwardly takes a seat near the bed. "How're you?" he asks, then mentally hits himself because she's in here for _cancer_.

Cassie laughs anyway. "I've seen better," she says. "You just missed Tim. Came in here like he was going to cry. Brought this over." She gestures to the giant bouquet of flowers on the side table. "What a sap. I'm not dead yet."

Bart chuckles despite himself. "He had the biggest crush on you in the Academy. I used to tease him about it in advanced calc."

"Advanced calc. He was always such a nerd." She says it affectionately, and her lips curl up. She looks thoughtful. "I didn't know that. He never told me."

 _Does that mean you didn't know about Jaime_? Bart wants to ask. Instead he goes, "That's probably for the better. He's pretty happy where he is now."

"With _Jay_ , you mean?" Cassie laughs, and her eyes sparkle. "They're awful. Bring out the worst in each other, if you ask me."

"In a good way!" Bart exclaims, holding his hands up. For a brief moment, she looks five years younger, and Bart almost forgets.

"Man. Almost makes me miss the Academy."

"Remember that time Logan tried to impress Megan while she was still with Conner and he fell into the pool? Kaldur had to fish him out."

She leans in closer. "Remember when some of the pilots had to demonstrate that failure simulation, and Dick and Wally got weirdly into it and did that whole bromance thing?"

"Remember this?" He digs out his phone, shows her the picture of her and Jaime in Scarab Amazon for the first time. He's reminded that this was hardly three years ago, and yet Cassie looks ten years older than she should. For the first time, he realizes how very _small_ they looked in the central dome.

Cassie manages a smile. "Good times, huh?"

"You saved the world," he says, because it's true.

"Nah." She squeezes his hand. "The twenty of us, maybe."

Bart smiles at that. "But you and – you and Jaime. Dream team forever, y'know?"

Cassie smiles again, but it's sad. "Forever," she echoes.

Bart opens his mouth to ask what she means, if she still felt Jaime in her head sometimes, if she ever knew about him loving her, if she loved him in any way at all, if she'd known about Bart –

"I'm not going to get better, Bart." She says it suddenly and listlessly, with none of the previous joie de vivre in their conversation. Bart blinks at her, uncomprehending. "The doctors aren't sure how much time I have left, but – I'm glad you're here. I always felt like…something wasn't right between the two of us, y'know?" She's staring blankly out the window.

\- But that's all in the past, and Jaime died so Cassie could live, and Bart settles on "I'm sorry."

She looks surprised, and purses her lips in a way that's so like Jaime Bart almost gasps. "What for?"

Bart stares at her, still so pretty despite her illness. He wants to say, _For resenting you all this time._

He wants to say, _For not loving you as much as I could have._

He wants to say, _For you going like this. It was the last thing Jaime would have wanted._ The tears bubble up quickly now, hot and piercing."For not building you a better Jaeger. Something with better shielding, something that could have withstood the fight–"

Cassie's brows furrow. "Bart–" she starts, but her voice cracks. "Occupational hazard. You know I don't – you couldn't have –" She wrings her hands together. "You built us the best Jaeger," she says finally, looking him right in the eye. Her eyes are very blue. "And I'll always be grateful for that. We saved the world, right?"

"Yeah. We did good, Cass."

Before he leaves, Bart leans over and hugs her. He presses a kiss to her forehead and doesn't let go for a very long time.

He hugs Conner before he leaves, too.

The air is still.

* * *

 **A/N: YEAAAAH YOUNG JUSTICE PACRIM AU.** **Idek guys. All I know is that drift-compatible Cassie and Jaime make me happy.**

 **Title from Fall Out Boy's "Immortals" because like all Pacific Rim AUs, this one is best listened to on a Fall Out Boy playlist.**

 **Originally posted on ArchiveOfOurOwn.**


	2. turn to dust or to gold (the aftermath)

**GOLDEN BOY: The Life and Times of Gotham's Finest**

 **AN EXCLUSIVE, TELL-ALL INTERVIEW WITH RICHARD GRAYSON**

"THE FIRST THING you have to know is that I didn't decide that title, Helena did," is the first thing Richard Grayson says to me. Tall, handsome, dressed in a crisply tailored, well-fitting blazer, donning a charming smile, and relaxing carelessly on the duvet in his large-windowed loft, Grayson looks every bit the playboy billionaire's ward the public used to know him for. But there are hints here and there that this is a persona he actively cultivates now, after resurfacing seemingly permanently – the hard crease of his mouth, the dorky T-shirt under the blazer, the comic book posters on the walls.

He's referring, of course, to Ms. Helena Bertinelli[1], rather (in)famous for her flair for the dramatic. But for all his facades and dismissive veneers, Grayson seems genuinely excited about his autobiography, which hits bookshelves on Sunday.

"So," he says, once introductions are out of the way. "Why don't we get started? Pull your punches. Show me what you've got."

* * *

THE FIRST LINE of Golden Boy is this – " _I grew up in a circus. It's always been about catching people when they fall._ "

Grayson is surprised when I choose to begin with that. I clarify that I'm not here to criticize or start a workshop, but rather to question why he chose that as a starting point. He looks confused. "I've always been open about my background," he says. "From the very beginning, I was part of something amazing. I wouldn't be the person I am today if not for the stuff I learned in the early years."

For those not in the know, less than thirty years ago the surname "Grayson" meant something else entirely – one of the most prestigious family of acrobats in the world. They worked with Haley's Circus before the Kaiju attacked Keystone during a performance. Then-Lieutenant Bruce Wayne was one of the few survivors among the audience, and practically adopted the orphaned Richard (now preferring "Dick") on sight. (Going back a couple more decades, Wayne himself rather famously lost his parents as a child to an unfortunate mugging.)

"The shift from a circus lifestyle to a military brat one? Definitely hard," says Grayson, though he's smiling. "Alfred [Pennyworth] [2] took care of me way more than Bruce did. He was gone a lot, always on tours – but I could tell he was a really strong person. It was all very inspiring." He tells me more about life with Bruce Wayne – the press, the chauffeurs, the loneliness in the big empty manor.

"What made you join up with the PPDC?" I ask.

"It was cool, and I was a pretty lonely kid," he says sharply, not missing a beat. "The end of the world, I wasn't about to sit around and do nothing. And Bruce. I admired him a lot. He didn't want me to, of course – said he didn't want me to end up too much like him, that I had to 'channel my anger'" – air quotation marks – "some other way. But I'd spent so long thinking about it and it seemed like the natural course of action. I mean–" his face turns serious. "It's always been about making sure everyone else still had families to go home to. I tried my best."

I decide to power through the decidedly somber turn this conversation has taken. "Not all of our readers will be able to pick up your book when it comes out, so can you share a few highlights of your time in the Academy?"

Grayson perks up noticeably, and there's a newfound sparkle in his eyes. It's clear he looks back on the Academy years fondly. "Where to begin?" he laughs, further proving this. "Well, my freshman roommate was four years older than I was and _super_ mean. We laugh about it now, but the truth is we said barely five words to each other the first couple of weeks. I cried after three days because I felt _so_ lonely."

A bit of prodding later, I learn that said roommate was none other than Roy Harper [3]. I mention that the two of them are very public about their friendship now, but Grayson shrugs. "Things are different when you're a teenager." There's been a war and a seafloor battle between, too. "In hindsight, Bruce and Oliver [Queen] [4] were close; we would've become friends anyway."

"Before Bruce made Marshall, he used to pilot with Diana [Prince] and Clark [Kent]," he says. I nod. Trinity will forever be a legend, I think. "That's how I met Diana – is it okay if I go by first names, by the way? – and her younger sister, Donna [Troy] [5]. She was in it for the same reason as me, I think, and she was in my year. We got along like a house on fire and the only reason Roy talked to me at all was 'cause he thought she was pretty."

"Did you ever date?" I ask teasingly.

Grayson looks amused at this. " _God_ , not you too! Loved her like a sister, still do. Besides, that would have broken Jason [Todd]'s [6] heart. He had the biggest crush on her. He's going to kill me when he reads this, but please keep it in."

"I was _sad_ when Donna quit," he continues. "We had one of those friendships where, like, you didn't have to test it to know you were compatible. I thought if I would partner with anyone it would be her."

"But you still remain in touch?"

"Of course, of course." Grayson is increasingly seeming like the type of person who would be loath to let a friendship fall apart. "We started having brunch again recently. Babs makes fun of me for it. Besides," he adds. "I met Wally [West] [7] through her."

I'm floored for a second, although I try my best not to let it show. He's ex-military, though, and pretty obviously picks up on that, his smile understanding. "You'll notice I wrote a lot about him," he continues.

"You did," I says sympathetically. "It's very obvious how highly you view him."

Crows' feet show themselves around Grayson's eyes when he smiles, but it's sad. "I can't _not_ , in a way," he says. "He was my best friend. We had a lot of common ground, you see – Bruce Wayne was _my_ dad, and Barry Allen was _his_ uncle, and we were two years apart and loved playing pranks on people, and what do you know?" He does a little showbiz-hands gesture. "Compatibility right from the start."

"Your handshake was _insane_ ," I note. "You guys were the standard in the community."

There _is_ a lot of material on Wallace West in _Golden Boy_. Grayson details everything from their first meeting (he and Troy having nowhere else to sit in the cafeteria and seeing him eating alone; she had spilled apple juice on him), to finding out they were drift-compatible (they'd figured out everything the psych analyst, one Mr. John Jones [7], had to tell them the second he opened his mouth) to their first Kaiju kill (one might remember Cadmus, famous for seemingly making copies of itself). Grayson talks animatedly about their friend group, which also included people who would go on to make waves in the Kaiju history books: notable names include Harper, Connor Kent [8], Artemis Crock [9], Zatanna Zatara [10], Jackson Hyde [11], and Megan Morse [12].

I even manage to get in a few questions about his personal life, all of which he answers with grace and good humor. "Zatanna and I had a thing," he admits right off the bat. "But we broke it off pretty quick. There were a few other girls over the years, some with the PPDC, some not–" Grayson's years-long, high-profile affair with heiress Kory Anders comes to mind – "But nothing ever came out of it. The Jaegers came first. The missions always came first."

Conspicuously absent from the book, however, are the details of March 23, 2025. Grayson mentions it in passing before skipping the funeral entirely. When I bring it up, Grayson nods, like he's been expecting the question. "Believe me, I tried," he says. He runs a hand through his hair. "But nothing I wrote could ever do it justice. There wasn't any balancing – there was a graduation that day, and there was a _speech_ , and then suddenly…" He trails off, tapping his foot impatiently on the floor, like there are thoughts he can't form into words. "Everyone knows what happened that day. The whole thing was very public. I thought, might as well focus on the stuff people didn't know about."

"Would it be weird if I ask how it was to pilot solo?"

"No, no. Of course not. Everyone wonders that. Thing is, I can't really tell you much. A lot of it was the adrenaline working overtime to make sure my brain could take the load. I honestly don't remember much of it.

"I wasn't myself for a bit after that," he adds. "Couldn't treat people exactly right. Wally's nephew, Bart [13]? Looked so much like him. It took me a while before I could even look him in the eye." He smiles a bit. "Never got around to apologizing for it."

"I'm sure he understood," I pipe up.

"Yeah." Grayson's fingers tap a rhythm on his knee. "It was his graduation, too."

There's such a stagnant pause that briefly, I wonder if he's about to call it a day and end it. But he continues. "Staying strong after that was…hard. Wally terminated the Drift before – he died, and I thank him for that every day. But it's still difficult, sometimes, to wake up and feel like a part of your brain is missing. I tended to close in on myself a lot. I think that was hard on Barbara when we started Drifting."

I resist the urge to sigh in relief; the conversation's turned to more familiar territory. "You mention her a few times in the beginning," I point out.

There's that relaxed smile again. "She's my oldest – and for a while, my _only_ , really – friend. I've known her since we were kids. We had the kind of Drift that's built up, y'know? Years and years of trust and friendship."

"You mention that you were sure you'd be compatible ever since she entered the Jaeger Program two years after you. Has anything about that changed?"

"I was very sure," he says lightly. "But Wally and I were practically electric, and Jason had the best scores with her, so it was only logical. Our charms were needed elsewhere, clearly." He leans forward then, a knowing smile on his face. "Did you know – after Wally, the Jaegers started failing, and they clearly needed every pilot they had. It was logical that they'd test me with Babs, but even then I didn't want to Drift with anyone except her. She's been taking care of me since we were – what, nine?" He smiles again, briefly and fondly. "I'm sure if we tried Drifting again now, it would be just as strong – nah, stronger."

I gulp. This, I know, is the perfect segue into my next question. He looks at me like he's expecting me to ask it.

"How was it after Scarab's first mission?"

"Difficult," he says after a few beats. "I'm not going to speak for her experience. But I can say she struggled far more than I did. I lost a partner. She lost more than that." The picture of Barbara Gordon in a wheelchair had blazed headlines, Scarabs' pilots' scared, ashamed faces, too. Dick's ashen face and ruined Jaeger had graced many a tabloid afterward – _what kind of person loses two copilots so quickly?_

He pauses, biting his lip. His hair is looking more and more tousled the more he runs his hair through it. "We couldn't look at each other for the first few days," he says. "There was so much baggage there. I got nightmares about never walking again. But Babs fought harder than anyone I've ever known, and she became basically the best mission control ever. And I told myself – if she could bounce back, so could I. Pitfall was fast approaching, too."

"Did you have a hand in planning Operation Pitfall?"

His jaw works. "Nope. I wrote about it in the book. That was all the highers-up – Clark, Diana, Bruce, Dinah [Lance] [14], Nathaniel [Adams] [15], the works." He plays with his fingers a little. "I thought it was a terrible, dangerous plan. But it had to be done."

He's quiet for a moment. "It did what it was supposed to do. It closed the Breach, let us rebuild. How can I fault it if–" His jaw works again. "One casualty for the sake of everyone else."

"Jaime Reyes [16]?"

"I spent a very long time feeling guilty about that," he finally admits, not meeting my eyes for the first time in this interview. "It's been years, but sometimes I still think– maybe if I'd gone instead, with someone else, Jaime would've–I don't know. He was a good guy. He deserved better. But he was someone I couldn't catch." The entire world had seen that moment, too – when the first pod had popped up after Scarab had blown up. Grayson had jumped in immediately, performed first aid – and the two of them had waited in vain for a second pod that never followed.

"Your book doesn't mention the reason you and Ms. Gordon went underground after Pitfall," I point out quietly. "Was that it?"

"Right on the money." Again, that sad smile. "It's not as dramatic as you make it sound. We'd lay low, travel a bit, email Tim [Drake] [17] and Jason and Bruce to say we were all right. Pretty idyllic, if you ask me."

"How did you guys contribute to the rebuilding effort?"

He laughs, but it's bitter. " _Barely_. Ask any of the pilots, they'll tell you the same thing. Hell, ask Garfield [Logan] [18] or Karen [19] or any of the J-Tech people. We made a couple of speeches, tweeted a bunch of supportive stuff, but ultimately it wasn't our job anymore. Everyone was tired."

At that point I want to hug him. "Do you still feel the same way now?"

The sides of his mouth turn upwards a little. He pauses. "We've had two years to cope with it, and even still I don't think it's ever going to go away." Another pause. "But still, that's two years of convincing yourself that everything's going to be okay. It's better now."

"What are you up to now?"

"After this whole book thing is up?" He grins. "Babs and I are moving back to Wayne Manor. Grace the gang with our presence for a while. And then – Haly's Circus is going on the market."

"So like going full circle."

He smiles, wide and happy and real, and I know I've hit the nail on the head.

* * *

"LAST QUESTION?" I say, hopefully.

He grins again, friendly and familiar. "Shoot."

"Why'd you write the book?"

"Ah." Grayson crosses his arms and leans on the doorway. "Well, like I said earlier – I wanted people to know about the parts that weren't so heavily publicized. But at the same time, I didn't want people to forget. We made history, y'know? Everything is going to be skewed when the books come out. In a couple decades, it's going to be skewed even for the people who were _there_. I know not everyone involved is going to view things the same way I did. But, y'know, it's something."

Briefly, I glance at the dedication.

 _To Bruce, Clark, and Diana – for being parents, teachers, healers._

 _To Wally – for being a brother._

 _To Barbara – for being everything._

 _To everyone – for being warriors, in one way or another._

He sees me looking at it. "Some of us aren't even going to be around in a couple decades," he says softly. "I want Cassie [Sandsmark] [20] to read it, y'know?"

"I'll make sure she does," I tell him. "Wait. Can I ask _one_ last question?"

"You're really pushing it," he says, deadpan, but he's smiling again. "But go ahead."

"You said you didn't choose the book's title," I say, thumbing the embossed cover. _Golden Boy_. "But why did you agree to title it that?"

He laughs a bit. "I was so sleepy and I didn't want to argue with Helena," he jokes. But his face turns serious. "Never once did I feel like it," he says, looking me straight in the eye. " _Golden Boy_ – I think I made it very clear in the narration that it was the farthest thing… I intended for it to be ironic. You don't save the world and come out feeling – well, you feel good, maybe. Tired, but fulfilled, sure. But golden? Never."

I wish I could say there was some definite, dramatic interview-ending moment. But what happens is just I shake his hand before I take the elevator down and out the building. My last thought of Richard Grayson before the doors close is, once again, someone who saved the world, but wishes he didn't have to.

* * *

 _(NOTES:_

 _[1] Helena Bertinelli is a family friend of the Waynes, and Grayson's editor at Spyral Publishing._

 _[2] According to Grayson himself, Alfred Pennyworth is Wayne Manor's devoted butler. Makes excellent chocolate chip cookies._

 _[3] Roy Harper is an associate of Oliver Queen [4]. He would go on to pilot Tigress Hunter with Artemis Crock [8] until the closure of the breach, and is currently married to Crock's sister Jade. They have a daughter, Lian._

 _[4] Oliver Queen is currently CEO of Queen Conglomerate and was one of the Jaeger Program's biggest benefactors while it was operational due to personal ties with several of its officers._

 _[5] Donna Troy is Marshall Diana Prince's younger sister. Troy famously quit the PPDC after a falling-out with her sister, and currently works in fitness._

 _[6] Jason Todd piloted Red Oracle with Barbara Gordon until he retired following the battle with Lazarus, citing trauma._

 _[7] John Jones and his niece Megan [11] were the only psych analysts to stay with the Jaeger Program until its end. They now run a clinic, Jones & Morse._

 _[8] Younger cousin to Marshall Clark Kent, Conner Kent became a Fightmaster after graduating from the program. He married Cassandra Sandsmark [20] after Operation Pitfall._

 _[9] Artemis Crock piloted Tigress Amazon alongside Roy Harper, and was recruited by Oliver Queen. She and Wallace West were in a high-profile relationship before his death._

 _[10] Zatanna Zatara would go on to become one of the leading LOCCENT officers in the program. She now follows in her father's footsteps as a stage magician._

 _[11] Jackson Hyde was a pupil of famous naval captain Arthur Curry before joining the PPDC. He piloted Poseidonis alongside Garth and Tula Atlantea before Tula's death and Garth's subsequent retirement. Poseidonis was later refitted for two pilots and Hyde became copilots with Logan Neptune. The two of them also participated in Operation Pitfall._

 _[12] Megan Morse is niece to John Jones who followed in his footsteps as a psych analyst with the Jaeger Program. She is now a licensed psychiatrist alongside him, but maintains an interest in wildlife zoology. _

_[13] Bart Allen, grandson of renowned military maverick Barry Allen, became a member of J-Tech. Notably, the primary person who designed Scarab Amazon._

 _[14] Dinah Lance served as Fightmaster with the PPDC for years, and continued to teach martial arts after the war ended._

 _[15] Nathaniel Adams was an ex-captain in the armed forces before transferring to the PPDC. Along with Lance, he was one of the Marshalls' inner circle._

 _[16] Jaime Reyes piloted Scarab Amazon alongside Cassandra Sandsmark from his graduation to the closure of the Breach. He was the only pilot involved in Operation Pitfall not to survive. _

_[17] T im Drake was another ward of Bruce Wayne. He eventually became a high-ranking member of J-Tech._

 _[18] Garfield Logan is the son of prominent wildlife zoologist Marie Logan and cousin to Megan Morse. He was one of the Kaiju biologists and his discoveries were instrumental in Pitfall's success. Currently, he has returned to Africa to continue his mother's studies._

 _[19] Karen Beecher was another of the scientists involved in the Kaiju War. She is currently resuming her doctorate under the advisory of Ryan Choi._

 _[20] Cassandra Sandsmark piloted Scarab Amazon with Jaime Reyes and was instrumental in the closure of the breach. After Operation Pitfall, she married ex-Fightmaster Conner Kent. She passed away of cancer last Friday, April 5, 2030. _

_C. KELLEY is a freelance journalist known for her unique interviews, which have appeared in the Gotham City Herald, Metropolis Daily, Star City News, and the Keystone Times. You may contact her at ckelley ._

* * *

 **A/N: There was a lot of AU thoughts that didn't make it into the first installment.**

 **Originally posted on AO3.**


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